Here at King & Queen’s Beans & Things, we tend to value the opinions and thoughts of those around us. This would include our good friend, Yung Diddly, who has put forth good effort into writing this comical piece. I now present to you the gut-bursting article:
Watch out world, everyone’s favorite serial mansplainer is back, and ready to explain “basic facts” to unsuspecting, already knowledgeable females everywhere. We’ve all been waiting for someone to explain the true definition of feminism to someone who’s been to Tumblr in the last 12 hours. We’ve been missing having someone to explain ethical eating to a small group of unassuming vegans in the shopping mall. I think we can all agree that our definitions of Communism have been getting as loose as the mansplainer’s understanding of a sexually-active woman’s vagina.
Fortunately, our hopes, prayers, and midnight screaming fits have been answered, because Everyone’s Favorite Mansplainer has been released from the Mall Security Office after three oddly long weeks. I know we all miss having our canonically inaccurate Matrix trilogy theories corrected (How could I forget that about the Animatrix?). Our Yugioh spelling has lost its hyphens. Worst of all, we’ve been setting our TVs to 16:9 for standard definition shows. I don’t know about you, but I, for one, have absolutely missed having two black bars on the sides of my morning Spongebob.
And so now, the world waits with bated breath, as Everyone’s Favorite Serial Mansplainer returns from a stint with the boys in blue after another heroic attempt to get a free Rainbow Dash fedora from Hot Topic. His prowess and hatred for corrupted capitalism have left a landmark scar on the façade of the American shopping system. We’ll all revel in his oily skin – and even oilier ponytail as he saunters out of the corrupt chains of our wicked criminal justice system.
EDITOR’S NOTE: It appears that Everyone’s Favorite Mansplainer Season 2 has been postponed once again after a bit of an incident involving a gallon of boiling cheese at the pretzel stand just outside the Mall Security Office
Yours truly,
Yung Diddly
King & Queen's Beans & Things 